Friday, May 8, 2015

Writing

I was looking over some of my older blog posts while trying to decide what to write about, and I got a little discouraged. This is more of a rant than a regular post, but feel free to read anyway! 

Writing is hard. Good writing is hard. Sometimes I can't think of what I want to write about, and I always do come up with something, but a lot of the time I feel like my heart just wasn't in it. I'll go back and read some of my posts and wonder why I wrote what I wrote. None of them have been particularly bad posts, they just seemed like "filler" posts. I was going to say "bullshit posts" but eh. 

I started to write a post last night and I stopped in the middle to think about what I was writing about. Was this a new or helpful idea I'm putting out there? Is it different? Will someone get something out of reading this post? What am I actually contributing by posting this? 

I've felt like that a lot lately, not only with writing but about life in general. I feel like I'm having that early-mid 20's crisis that everyone seems to go through. What am I doing with my life? Not just career wise either. Just like when I was writing and thinking about what people would get out of whatever I was going to post, sometimes I think - what am I actually contributing to the world? Am I contributing at all? Sometimes I just feel like I'm wasting space, using energy and resources for whatever reason. And then I look at all the idiots around me and I realize I probably come off as one of those fuckers to everyone else. 

But, I woke up this morning to find out that I got an internship to be a contributing writer at College Fashion, which greatly lifted my spirits. I applied last month and I am so excited that I was chosen to fill one of the spots! This has made me feel a little bit better, as my title is contributing writer I feel like I'm actually going to be doing something productive. I sincerely hope that people will read what I write and gain something by reading it. 

I hope this didn't come off as me saying I don't put anything into my blog - I really do! Sometimes I just look at things I wrote and wonder if it actually impacted anyone in ANY sense, no matter how small. That is my goal as a "writer". Finding my writing "style" is also something I hope to accomplish in my journalism journey.

If you managed to read all of this, thank you and sorry for the negativity! 




2 comments:

Erika Sorocco said...

I think that, even if you're not having an impact on anyone with your writing, you are doing something worthwhile. The person you want to impress is yourself. Being able to find the time to put together posts, and release them into the world {even if you're the only one who knows that they exist} is achievement enough.

xx

Bree Aylwin said...

I agree with you. It is hard to always think up good content. You are doing something right to be chosen for the internship. Congrats!